The Fucked and the Fallen (3 poems)

I

All I can hear is my heart beating in my chest
and the tapping of fingers on keys
The perpetual state of my mind not at rest
in the chasm it won’t let me leave

It’s digging a hole and it it’ll never come back
but it’s fine because I’m not alone
Amongst the lost and the damned, the sinners, and shunned,
I have fallen to take my new throne.

As I rise to the top in the depths of the dirt,
as I bask in the glow of the rot,
I know that down here I will be loved and revered
and they’ll all eat whatever I’ve got

I am Queen of the fucked up, disturbed, and insane
and I know this is where I fit in
I will float in the blood, in the booze, and semen,
and I’ll sacrifice myself to sin

American Pyscho oooh gif.gif

II

Your head’s still on your shoulders
but only just for now
’cause soon we’ll wipe it clean
right off
and you won’t remember how

Your mind is on my matter
and your nose is on the line
You won’t regret a thing tomorrow
What’s mine is yours is yours is mine

Your heart left with my demon
yet your pulse is in your pants
So come on now, let’s take a bow
This is our great performance

anita pallenberg performance boob gif

III

Tonight we’re gathered
with the dead
so take if off
remove your head

Check your coat
and check your mind
Let it away
Leave it behind

Shed off your skin
Tear off your flesh
Cut it away
’til there’s none left

There’s not one sin
we won’t accept
Listen to us
We know you best

We took your name
We’ve no plus-ones
So kill your ties
and come alone

Sell us your soul
Strip to your bones
’cause something wicked
this way comes

american psycho sorbet head gif

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I don’t have a name for these.

I

Your heart on my heart
and they’re killing time
Your beat parallels death’s
and it’s matching mine
We pull and
we hang
like we’re intertwined
Guilty like the
Gallows’ sparrows

 

II

You know you need your demon
and you know how he tastes
It’s bitter yet sweet,
you let none go to waste

As it dries on your lips
and it slides down your throat
you know you need your demon
just to keep you afloat

He grabs at your mind and
you think he might steal it
but you let it tear off
because at least
you can feel it

You know you need your demon
set behind your dead eyes
need the glint and the fire
but he won’t empathize

He knows that you need him
and he waits in the glass
He might be at the bottom
but he left you for last

You know you need your demon
and he can’t be erased
he stole all of your words
and wrote them on your face

A few rhyming poems I wrote last year:

Birds

There are birds in my head
but I fear they are dead
because I haven’t heard from
them in a while

They stopped pecking
so I’m checking
but I can’t get them out

The birds haven’t been fed
maybe that’s why they’re dead!
And now they’ll decay in my mouth 

Funeral

There’s a funeral in my living room
and Satan whispers in my ear
He spills his wine upon my floor
The blood of Christ drips ever near

I wonder if he wants it back
But he’s not as he was before
Jesus is shooting up in the bathroom
and says he doesn’t need it anymore

There’s no designated driver
Absolved of responsibility
Lucifer looks me in the eye and says
“There’s something here you ought to see”

But Jesus stumbles down the stairs,
He is hammered once again
I ask him where his father is
He says he’s never been my friend

So it’s time to play the game of sinners
Where the rules cannot be defied
There’s a funeral in my living room
I just can’t remember who died 

Conscience

Tap tap tap
It asks, “Are you asleep?”
No not yet,
how could I be?
When splintered nails
keep poking me
“Remember what you did last night?”
Of course I do,
it wasn’t right
Whether my eyes are closed
Whether my mouth is open
no variations stop
my conscience flowing

Reminder! Reminder!
Set the clock!
Set the date!
This poking, prodding shadow
doesn’t care if it is late

“I noticed your breathing…
I noticed that it slowed
and I couldn’t help but to 
remind you
that I will always know”

 

End

Last night I had a dream
I dreamt that I slept
And while I was sleeping
the entire Earth wept
The seas drew from their beds
and collapsed with finality
And while everyone drowned
they had no time
to look for me
Volcanoes shuddered
and threw up their guts
and until everyone perished,
the Earth didn’t give up
Mountains, they crumbled
and fell at my feet
and all of the while
I still stayed asleep
I awoke all too late
and missed my own demise
I missed all of the blood,
burned flesh and the cries
I missed man’s last prayer,
last bargain, last lies
And my punishment now
is that I’m still alive. 

 

Insomnia

If sleep and rest should choose to cast you out
and the morning whispers behind your back
I fear that you must learn to do without
and make up for the sleep that you so lack

The nighttime takes you in its moonlit arms
and warns you that the sun is not your friend
It promises that it won’t do you harm
until the sunlight forces it to end

Eternity will laugh as you get dressed
and force yourself to face the day ahead
Everything you wrote last night’s a mess
Your thoughts are still collecting in your head

Oh sleep, oh sleep. Why can you not be kind?
Without you here I fear I’ll lose my mind.